Why did I come to Japan

I thought it was time to tell you, if you don't already know, what is it with me and Japan.

I grew up in France where most of the children programs on TV are anime. So if you're watching lots of TV then you're used to see a certain Japanese aesthetic. When the characters aren't pursuing fantastic quests, you get to see day-to-day life things/habits: onigiri, lunch box, taking your shoes off before entering your home, the ritual of the bath, square schoolbag, schoolchildren wearing the typical navy blue/black uniform...

Later on, you can easily continue the immersion: read mangas, see Japanese movies, play Japanese games, cook Japanese food, go to exhibitions on Japanese art, read books on Japanese design, learn about Wabi-Sabi....Very addictive.

A couple of years ago, I decided to start learning Japanese with an objective in mind: be able to read a novel in Japanese. Why? I guess I work with books so I love the book as an object but I also wanted to crack the mystery of a Japanese book: you start 'from the end', the text is vertical, written in incomprehensible characters.  I needed to know, to understand.

Last year, on an impulse, I went to Japan. I never been to Japan, so far away, so expensive...I needed an impulse to stop thinking about it and just do it. I came back hungry to know more: how do people live over there? How do they think? What are the unspoken rules? Where do their aesthetic sense come from?

Another trip around Kyushu followed and now this, a fantastic opportunity to get a taste of living in Japan.
I wanted to see, how it is to live in one place for 3 months, with a routine (even if it's not work), to experience the day-to-day life. Would being bored in Japan be better than being bored than in Europe?

So, how is it after few weeks? I'm starting to see the negative aspects of life here: the isolation of being an obvious foreigner, not being able to read signs, labels or have a conversation with people. I often wonder if people are friendly or just super polite or bit of both? Why don't they let me practice my Japanese (isn't it ok to be uncomfortable for few minutes)? When I sit somewhere why am I surrounded by empty seats? Why are things sooo expensive, even outside of Tokyo?

I went through the same thing when I moved to England. So I knew it was going to happen and I wanted to experience it. Because, after few weeks, suddenly, things will appear more balanced, accurate, real....I came prepared so that's fine, plus it's good timing because I have lots of parties planned in next few days.

So would I still live here, even now my expectations are a bit down? Yes, you bet! Last night, for the first time the door to the roof was opened. I went there, the night sky not dark because of the lights of the city, I looked around and felt this rush of hapiness, to be here, now. But I have unfinished business in London. So this time in Japan is what it is, a short term experience that I will cherish.